DEAR AMERICA

By January 14, 2019Neil Morrison

Dear America,

It’s your friend Canada just writing to say hello. Also wanted to let you know that we feel for you up here in Canada. We see what your president says, we see his tweets, and how he lies without an inch of remorse. We see his narcissistic sexism and watch on as he tries to bully the rest of the world. The thing is America, your current president is kind of like you. We will always be friends but like that embarrassing drunk Uncle at a family gathering, sometimes you do embarrass yourself. For example, when you travel and complain that other places aren’t like you. Yeah, that’s not cool. Different countries have differences for a reason. When you don’t like it, ‘BECAUSE IT’S NOT LIKE THAT IN THE UNITED STATES’ please respect that there’s a reason for that. And that reason is BECAUSE YOU AREN’T IN THE UNITED STATES. We Canadians are a little more laid back and reserved. We’re not used to the loudness, the brashness, and the hustle and bustle of your busy nation. We are used to Americans being divided the way you are. It wasn’t this current President that created this. You seemed to have always been divided. Perhaps the Amendments have something to do with the issue? Or the polar opposites that are Democrats and Republicans? Despite your differences and the fact that we believe differences are a good thing we want you to know that we will always be with you. 

Your Friend,

Canada