Mark your calendar!
This Wednesday at 7am PST the Bank of Canada is set to announce its decision on how much interest rates will go up, with a short explanation of the factors influencing the decision.
Where’s Oprah when you need her? YOU GET A MILLION DOLLARS! YOU GET A MILLION DOLLARS?!WANT A WHALE, TAKE THAT TOO!!!
Oof. What ISN’T going up these days?! Gas prices close to $2.00/Litre, food prices insanely high ($10 for a basket of strawberries? Really?)
Luckily here are some funny and unusual ways for you to try and save money and get through this year!
Hide at Christmas
Tell your friends and family you’re going away for Christmas and will exchange gifts when you get back. Then lay low, buy all of your presents in the January sales for way less money and have a lucrative New Year!
Shave Your Head
This one I actually agree with, going to the hairdressers (for me) is a massive chore, I hate small talk and I’m way too busy to be sat there getting pampered, not to mention the astronomical costs associated with hair cuts.
Roadkill is not only free, but it’s also lean, healthy, organic, fresh and in abundance up and down motorways throughout the UK. Squashed Fox surprise for tea – Yum.
Take Extra Condiments
You always get offered sauces and other condiments when you eat at a restaurant or order fast-food. Don’t throw them away, stockpile them up and you will never have to buy them again.
Bin Diving for Food
This makes me gag just thinking about it but hygiene issues aside, I don’t think bin diving is even legal. Some supermarkets do donate unused foods to charities and food banks, but they might not take kindly to strangers picking through their rubbish at night. That said, free grub is free grub!
You can separate your 2 ply toilet roll in half to make it last twice as long, or even ditch it altogether and use old newspapers, junk mail, bills or packaging.
TAKE TUPPERWARE TO PARTIES
Fill those bad boys up with copious amounts of buffet food to take home, don’t be embarrassed by the other party-goers thinking you’re a peasant, they’re just jealous they didn’t think of it themselves. Plus there’s always leftovers, right!
Stop paying qualified professionals to fix your broken down home, electrical’s and car – do it yourself. What could go wrong? I mean, they’ve only spent a good chunk of their life learning their craft. Simply watch a few Youtube videos, have a quick Google and you’ll be able to fix anything in no time – Jobs a good-un!
Re-Use Your Urine
Your bladder’s loss is your garden’s gain because urine makes for a surprisingly great, eco-friendly fertiliser for your flower beds & vegetable patches. Best of all, it’s free & we have a constant, year-round supply!
When I was compiling this list I asked my Facebook friends for suggestions and one said to re-use your dirty dishwater for COOKING!! Urgh – anyway bath and dishwater can be used for less vomit worthy causes such as watering plants and flushing the toilet.
You can walk in to pretty much any council-run leisure centre or Gym without being confronted at the desk. Simply walk straight past, head for the showers and grab yourself a free wash…please refrain from shaving your nether regions though, because nobody needs to see that!
Save Your Old Hair
I’m always pulling clumps of hair from the bath plug hole and from brushes, why not save it all up and use it to fill a cushion, it’s soft, free and biodegradable.
Befriend that Annoying Neighbour
Even if you can’t stand the sight of your next-door neighbour, suck it up and be friendly with them, the rewards can be endless. You can borrow all sorts of stuff from them instead of buying it from food items to lawnmowers. Hey, why not fill up your pools in the summer with their outdoor tap (while they’re out) they won’t mind, you’re practically bessies!
Replace All Hobbies
Hobbies can be an expensive habit, giving them up could save you £1000s every year, but don’t worry we have a great money saving idea to replace them with….sex! It’s free and Fun win-win
Time Your Visits
Visit Family & Friends at meal times, make sure you tell them how hungry you are and how nice their cooking smells – it’s a sure-fire way to get your little hinting self a seat at the table. My daughter knows this trick all too well.
Discuss Politics Openly
Make sure you’re extremely vocal on Facebook & Twitter about your political views, this is a great way to lose family and friends via the “block” and “unfriend” buttons. You will soon feel the benefits when you’re not invited to social gatherings and don’t have to buy them birthday gifts anymore.